Does this ever happen to you......? It's a typical Friday morning, I get the kids to school successfully and then I'm off to the grocery store to stock up before the weekend. It's not very crowded, but I still want to park away from the other cars, because it's just what I do to keep my car from getting banged up and scratched. I'm only in there for about 30 minutes, and when I come out the parking lot is just about empty...except for....wait for it.....Yes, there it is, out of ALL the empty parking spaces, the BIG Ford F250 is parked right.beside.me! And parked as close to me as possible, so that I can't even load my groceries on that side.
Now, I just stand there and ponder...why? Why do people do this? What could be their possible motivation?? I am stumped, and aggrevated. I'm pretty sure he didn't do it to be mean. Why would he? I don't know this person. And yet it just baffles me! My first inclination is to ram his big truck with my shopping cart. No, that's not the right thing to do. My next thought is to pull my shopping cart between our two cars so I can load my groceries while scraping the side of his truck. No, that's not right either. Then what am I supposed to do??
I took my groceries around to the other side and loaded them in. Then I carefully opened my door so I wouldn't bang his door with mine, and I slid in ever so easily to get into my car. As I sat in my car still pondering why this person would do such a thing, it hit me. Maybe people do this to me because it's one of my major pet peeves and it is helping me with self control. See, I believe the Bible and I want to have the "fruit of the spirit"; one of which is self control. I feel pretty good about the other ones; love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, and gentleness....but that self-control one, now that's a challenge for me.
So, could it be that these people who do things to me that make me want to lash out at them, are God's way of teaching me to use self-control. Even though I felt like smashing against his truck, I knew it wasn't the right thing to do and I resisted. So then my thoughts went to this guy. What was his story? Was he getting ready to go to a job that he hates? Is his wife at home sick and he has to maintain the household chores? I have to consider that he is a person, with real problems, with real emotions. I used self-control today. Little by little, I'm getting better. Now, where is that bag of kit kats? :)
Friday, March 25, 2011
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
A Pregnancy Journey.....
So, six years and about 9 months ago....I took a pregnancy test and it was Positive. But that was just the beginning of the story.....Let's go back there........
When I pray, I expect God to answer; and He does. Not always the way I want. I had 2 previous miscarriages that I prayed for God to spare me from...but He chose to say no. When I went into the doctor in early 2004, she conducted an ultrasound. I was far enough along that we should have heard/seen a heartbeat and seen the sack where the baby was. My doctor saw nothing. She called me back into her office and said that she picked up a faint heartbeat that was most likely mine. She said that this was a 4 percent chance of being a viable pregnancy. I prayed....I cried.....I spent the rest of the day in my room grieving the coming loss of yet another pregnancy.
That Sunday, my church had a healing service. My friends gathered around me and prayed for the healing of this pregnancy. Because we all knew that our God is WAY bigger than any 4 percent prediction. I prayed, and I waited. Two weeks later, I went in for another ultrasound the day before a scheduled D& C procedure. On that ultrasound, we not only saw/heard a STRONG heartbeat, we saw my little one moving from one side of the screen to the other! My doctor said with tears in her eyes...."This is a miracle"....She still calls her my miracle baby.
Sometimes God answers with a no; sometimes with not right now....and sometimes, He answers with ALL of His Glory and Power with an Almighty YES. Emma was so close to not even being here....but God took the pregnancy and did what only He could do.......He gave me Emma. Thank you God for saying yes!
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Turning Our Okay Into Beautiful......
Sunday mornings are pretty much the same around my home. I'm the first one up and I get the pot of coffee going. I mix up the blueberry muffins and get them in the oven, then head to my computer for some quiet time. Then, I begin waking the rest of the family up and they head into the kitchen for breakfast. After breakfast, everyone begins getting ready for church.
On this particular Sunday, my 6 year old got herself dressed and then wanted to do her hair all by herself. My first thought was "this is not going to be good". So, I let her take the brush and begin brushing her hair. After a few minutes, she was so proud of the front, but she looked perplexed as she tried to figure out how she was going to do the back of her hair. I was standing to the side of her, finishing my make-up. She looked up at me and said "Mama, would you brush the back of my hair?" Of course I said yes, and while she was playing with a little toy in front of her, I brushed the front too!
She wanted to do the whole thing by herself, and it would have turned out okay I suppose. But when she asked me for help, I took the "okay" of the situation and made it "beautiful.". I couldn't help but think, this must be what God thinks of us many times. I always set out to do things, usually on my own and in my own power. Those things usually turn out "okay", but just think how beautiful it would turn out if I would simply ask for His help at the beginning instead of in the middle or even at the end.
I was willing to do the whole thing for her. I was just standing and waiting for her to ask. That's all it took. She asked, and I did it.
God is willing to take our "okay's" and make them Beautiful! All we have to do is ask!
On this particular Sunday, my 6 year old got herself dressed and then wanted to do her hair all by herself. My first thought was "this is not going to be good". So, I let her take the brush and begin brushing her hair. After a few minutes, she was so proud of the front, but she looked perplexed as she tried to figure out how she was going to do the back of her hair. I was standing to the side of her, finishing my make-up. She looked up at me and said "Mama, would you brush the back of my hair?" Of course I said yes, and while she was playing with a little toy in front of her, I brushed the front too!
She wanted to do the whole thing by herself, and it would have turned out okay I suppose. But when she asked me for help, I took the "okay" of the situation and made it "beautiful.". I couldn't help but think, this must be what God thinks of us many times. I always set out to do things, usually on my own and in my own power. Those things usually turn out "okay", but just think how beautiful it would turn out if I would simply ask for His help at the beginning instead of in the middle or even at the end.
I was willing to do the whole thing for her. I was just standing and waiting for her to ask. That's all it took. She asked, and I did it.
"A leper came to him, begging on his knees, "If you want to, you can cleanse me." Deeply moved, Jesus put out his hand, touched him, and said, I want to. Be clean." Then and there the leprosy was gone. - Mark 1:40-41
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Giving In When You Really Don't Want To.....
Just as a disclaimer....this is SO not about me......all the glory belongs to GOD!!
So this morning while driving over the Baytown bridge to get to my class, I was thinking about the parking situation. I knew I was going to have to park far away and walk. I was already dreading it, but I had my big coat with the hat and the gloves. As I was walking the long walk and freezing while I was totally dressed in winter wear...it hit me. There are thousands out there who will be sleeping in shelters tonight, but many who will be on the streets. I just kept thinking about them with every step I took until I got into the warm building.
As I was teaching my 2 classes, there was this constant "unhappiness" I felt. Even with my goofy jokes and the class responding in such a positive way, there was something bringing me down.
As I was walking back to my car and still freezing, I felt like I was supposed to do something. But what?? It's supposed to be like 27 degrees tonight...people need blankets. This was the thought going on in my head (I'm convinced it was God). So I felt God leading me to go to Wal Mart and buy a few blankets. I also had a crockpot full of taco soup that I felt like I was supposed to put in plastic containers and take to someone.
Even though I had this thought, I kept saying things like, "but I don't know where to find these people", it's so far over to Houston, what am I going to do with the kids while I do this?"...But with every excuse I tried to make, I just kept having different verses come to my head...."whatever you do for the least of these, you do for me" and "love your neighbor as yourself". Then the Brandon Heath song came into my head.."give me your eyes for just one second..."
So I went to Wal-Mart. I bought 2 blankets, 2 pillows and some plastic containers for my soup. I came home and made some pb&j sandwiches, and put them in a couple of bags along with some cheese & crackers and some pudding.
I called my dad and asked if Emma could stay with him for a few hours. Then I told my plan to Kendall and she wanted to go with me. I wasn't sure where to go, but I knew that I had always seen homeless guys on the benches in Herman Park by the zoo. So, that's where we headed. We parked and got out and started walking. The wind was blowing the water from the big fountain directly at us and we were laughing and freezing all at the same time.
We didn't find one person in that park! So, we went back to our car. We were not going home defeated. So, we took off down San Jacinto street and headed into downtown. There we saw him. A person covered by a make-shift blanket on the steps of an abandoned building. As we approached him, there was no place for me to stop, so we kept driving and looking for others. We finally felt like we were supposed to go back and give our things to this man.
I turned around and headed back to the place where we saw him. There was an Eye Center on the corner, so we parked there. We got out our soup, sandwiches, blanket and pillow and headed across the street.
"Hello?"....."Hellllooo?" "Excuse me".....I called out to him, and finally he pulled his covering away from his face and looked at me. "Hi! we have some food for you, can we leave it here?". He said yes and moved some things out of the way so we could put it down. Then we handed him the pillow and we spread the fleece blanket out over him. I asked him what his name was......Kevin. We asked him if we could pray for him later and he said yes. We told him to take care and that we would be praying for him. "Thank you" he said.
Then we left and ran across the street to our car. As we were getting back into our car, a guy who was standing by the metro pick-up said..."that was a real nice thing that yall just did".
Here is what I learned today. Always, always follow God in obedience. Even if it doesn't make sense to you and especially if it's out of your comfort zone. I don't know what God will do with and through Kevin, but I'm praying for great things!! The man at the metro bus stop saw what we did and I hope that he is inspired to show some kindness to someone along the way.
Maybe we blessed Kevin tonight. I hope we did. But I can tell you this much....I was blessed beyond words. I got to spend precious, quality time with my daughter living out God's command and I will appreciate my bed, heater, fireplace, and refrigerator full of food a lot more tonight than I normally would. I take things for granted BIG TIME! Tonight, Kevin is sleeping on a hard concrete step. But I hope his stomach isn't growling tonight and he stays a little warmer with his new blanket. But more than anything....more than ANYTHING, I want him to have felt the love of Jesus tonight. We are the hands and feet of Jesus. I'm so glad that Kevin allowed me to show God's love to him tonight. I am truly blessed!
So this morning while driving over the Baytown bridge to get to my class, I was thinking about the parking situation. I knew I was going to have to park far away and walk. I was already dreading it, but I had my big coat with the hat and the gloves. As I was walking the long walk and freezing while I was totally dressed in winter wear...it hit me. There are thousands out there who will be sleeping in shelters tonight, but many who will be on the streets. I just kept thinking about them with every step I took until I got into the warm building.
As I was teaching my 2 classes, there was this constant "unhappiness" I felt. Even with my goofy jokes and the class responding in such a positive way, there was something bringing me down.
As I was walking back to my car and still freezing, I felt like I was supposed to do something. But what?? It's supposed to be like 27 degrees tonight...people need blankets. This was the thought going on in my head (I'm convinced it was God). So I felt God leading me to go to Wal Mart and buy a few blankets. I also had a crockpot full of taco soup that I felt like I was supposed to put in plastic containers and take to someone.
Even though I had this thought, I kept saying things like, "but I don't know where to find these people", it's so far over to Houston, what am I going to do with the kids while I do this?"...But with every excuse I tried to make, I just kept having different verses come to my head...."whatever you do for the least of these, you do for me" and "love your neighbor as yourself". Then the Brandon Heath song came into my head.."give me your eyes for just one second..."
So I went to Wal-Mart. I bought 2 blankets, 2 pillows and some plastic containers for my soup. I came home and made some pb&j sandwiches, and put them in a couple of bags along with some cheese & crackers and some pudding.
I called my dad and asked if Emma could stay with him for a few hours. Then I told my plan to Kendall and she wanted to go with me. I wasn't sure where to go, but I knew that I had always seen homeless guys on the benches in Herman Park by the zoo. So, that's where we headed. We parked and got out and started walking. The wind was blowing the water from the big fountain directly at us and we were laughing and freezing all at the same time.
We didn't find one person in that park! So, we went back to our car. We were not going home defeated. So, we took off down San Jacinto street and headed into downtown. There we saw him. A person covered by a make-shift blanket on the steps of an abandoned building. As we approached him, there was no place for me to stop, so we kept driving and looking for others. We finally felt like we were supposed to go back and give our things to this man.
I turned around and headed back to the place where we saw him. There was an Eye Center on the corner, so we parked there. We got out our soup, sandwiches, blanket and pillow and headed across the street.
"Hello?"....."Hellllooo?" "Excuse me".....I called out to him, and finally he pulled his covering away from his face and looked at me. "Hi! we have some food for you, can we leave it here?". He said yes and moved some things out of the way so we could put it down. Then we handed him the pillow and we spread the fleece blanket out over him. I asked him what his name was......Kevin. We asked him if we could pray for him later and he said yes. We told him to take care and that we would be praying for him. "Thank you" he said.
Then we left and ran across the street to our car. As we were getting back into our car, a guy who was standing by the metro pick-up said..."that was a real nice thing that yall just did".
Here is what I learned today. Always, always follow God in obedience. Even if it doesn't make sense to you and especially if it's out of your comfort zone. I don't know what God will do with and through Kevin, but I'm praying for great things!! The man at the metro bus stop saw what we did and I hope that he is inspired to show some kindness to someone along the way.
Maybe we blessed Kevin tonight. I hope we did. But I can tell you this much....I was blessed beyond words. I got to spend precious, quality time with my daughter living out God's command and I will appreciate my bed, heater, fireplace, and refrigerator full of food a lot more tonight than I normally would. I take things for granted BIG TIME! Tonight, Kevin is sleeping on a hard concrete step. But I hope his stomach isn't growling tonight and he stays a little warmer with his new blanket. But more than anything....more than ANYTHING, I want him to have felt the love of Jesus tonight. We are the hands and feet of Jesus. I'm so glad that Kevin allowed me to show God's love to him tonight. I am truly blessed!
Friday, January 21, 2011
Stepping with Purpose
A few months back, I stopped by HEB to do a little grocery shopping. When I came out of the store about 45 minutes later, it was pouring down rain. I had not brought my umbrella with me, so I stood there a few minutes contemplating what my next move would be.
After thinking it through, I realized that I was just going home and it didn't really matter if I got soaked or not. So I held on tight to the cart and took off across the parking lot. As I was walking quickly to my car, another car honked at another car for some reason. When he did that, it startled me and my foot slipped. I didn't fall, but my foot kinda turned underneath itself and it hurt! My entire leg all the way up to my hip hurt every day for about a month. I'm too young to be hurting like that!
So, as you can imagine, I've become a little skittish when it comes to walking outside in the rain. Yesterday, I was about to walk out of my building and it had started to rain. I had on the exact same shoes that I was wearing at HEB that day that I slipped. So, as I started to take that first step, I was a little leery! I put my foot down very deliberately and slowly. Then took the next step and then the next. Until finally I made it to my car without slipping.
It made me think of real life. How, so many times we are "walking" and doing our own thing, and we slip up. We do or say things that have negative consequences. We get hurt or we even hurt others. Sometimes, we may not want to get back out there and try again; we are afraid of slipping up again. But the cool thing is that if we learn from the things that made us slip in the past, we are less likely to make those same mistakes again. If we take time to think about our actions, take our steps deliberately and with purpose....the rest will come easily.
Don't be afraid of past mistakes. Learn from them. Be a better person because of them. Live life by putting one foot in front of the other and walk with purpose!
After thinking it through, I realized that I was just going home and it didn't really matter if I got soaked or not. So I held on tight to the cart and took off across the parking lot. As I was walking quickly to my car, another car honked at another car for some reason. When he did that, it startled me and my foot slipped. I didn't fall, but my foot kinda turned underneath itself and it hurt! My entire leg all the way up to my hip hurt every day for about a month. I'm too young to be hurting like that!
So, as you can imagine, I've become a little skittish when it comes to walking outside in the rain. Yesterday, I was about to walk out of my building and it had started to rain. I had on the exact same shoes that I was wearing at HEB that day that I slipped. So, as I started to take that first step, I was a little leery! I put my foot down very deliberately and slowly. Then took the next step and then the next. Until finally I made it to my car without slipping.
It made me think of real life. How, so many times we are "walking" and doing our own thing, and we slip up. We do or say things that have negative consequences. We get hurt or we even hurt others. Sometimes, we may not want to get back out there and try again; we are afraid of slipping up again. But the cool thing is that if we learn from the things that made us slip in the past, we are less likely to make those same mistakes again. If we take time to think about our actions, take our steps deliberately and with purpose....the rest will come easily.
Don't be afraid of past mistakes. Learn from them. Be a better person because of them. Live life by putting one foot in front of the other and walk with purpose!
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
I Just Stay Home........
Several years back, I can remember some people asking me, "what do you do?"...My reply was always..."I just stay at home with my kids." I really didn't feel like I "did" anything that was worthy to be noted. It didn't take long for me to change my mind. If any of you have ever stayed home with your kids, you know that doing "nothing" is far far from the truth!
When the kids were younger, I would arrange playdates, trips to the children's museum and fun snack times throughout the day. Now this only occurs during the summer, due to school. Today, my day starts off at 5:30a.m. to get things done for myself like working out, quiet time with God and playing around on facebook :) Then, lunches get made, children wake up, breakfast gets made and clothes get picked out for the day.
After I drop the kids off at school, I come back home and get things started around here. A typical day begins with a load of laundry. While that is going, the clothes that are lying around in different rooms on different floors need to be picked up. Dishwasher gets emptied and another load of dishes goes in. Then it's time to check emails and balance the checkbook. Making sure that all of the bills are up to date and nothing is being overlooked! Need to lay something out for dinner so that it will be ready to go when I'm ready for it.
Appointments need to be made and an errand list needs to be made for the day. Sometime in between all of this, bathrooms need to be spruced up and floors need to be swept. About the time all of this gets finished, it's about time to pick up the kids and get dinner going. After dinner, homework gets done, baths, and nighttime books and off to bed we go. Resting up to get ready to do it all over again the next day.
Keeping a home running smoothly is not as easy as it may look. I have learned not to downplay what I do. I have an important job and I take pride in doing it. I'm not "just a wife and mom"....I am "a woman" and that includes a whole lot of things......leave the "just" out please!
When the kids were younger, I would arrange playdates, trips to the children's museum and fun snack times throughout the day. Now this only occurs during the summer, due to school. Today, my day starts off at 5:30a.m. to get things done for myself like working out, quiet time with God and playing around on facebook :) Then, lunches get made, children wake up, breakfast gets made and clothes get picked out for the day.
After I drop the kids off at school, I come back home and get things started around here. A typical day begins with a load of laundry. While that is going, the clothes that are lying around in different rooms on different floors need to be picked up. Dishwasher gets emptied and another load of dishes goes in. Then it's time to check emails and balance the checkbook. Making sure that all of the bills are up to date and nothing is being overlooked! Need to lay something out for dinner so that it will be ready to go when I'm ready for it.
Appointments need to be made and an errand list needs to be made for the day. Sometime in between all of this, bathrooms need to be spruced up and floors need to be swept. About the time all of this gets finished, it's about time to pick up the kids and get dinner going. After dinner, homework gets done, baths, and nighttime books and off to bed we go. Resting up to get ready to do it all over again the next day.
Keeping a home running smoothly is not as easy as it may look. I have learned not to downplay what I do. I have an important job and I take pride in doing it. I'm not "just a wife and mom"....I am "a woman" and that includes a whole lot of things......leave the "just" out please!
Monday, November 15, 2010
Three Things I Take For Granted
Yesterday, my oldest daughter and I were shopping, and I jokingly said, "let's hold hands". Of course she just laughed and politely said No. But I was thinking how just the other day she was so little and she held my hand all the time. So, this morning, I fixed my 5 year old some oatmeal. After she finished eating, I needed to get her dressed for school, so I took her by the hand and led her from the kitchen table over to the couch where her clothes were. It only took about 7 seconds to do that, but in those 7 seconds, I felt her little hand in mine and it occurred to me how I take that for granted. There weren't any cars around or strangers; I didn't need to hold her hand and she didn't need to hold mine. But it was just automatic that I reached for her hand and she willingly took mine. I enjoyed that 7 second walk so much this morning. I don't ever want to take those hand holding moments for granted, because I know I'm gonna blink a few times and she will be all grown up and we won't hold hands anymore......So I'm gonna take every opportunity to hold her hand even if it's only for a few seconds.
The second thing I know I take for granted is a peaceful home. On most days you can find Curious George playing quietly on the T.V., and an Ipod playing not so quietly from upstairs. No one is yelling, things are organized, and we all work in sync together. Yesterday, however, we had a mini-meltdown in the van on the way home from church. Yes, that's right..we had just been to church hearing about how to love each other the way Jesus loved people, etc. etc. But things were just out of whack for us and by the time we pulled into the driveway, which was only about a 10 minute drive, there were tears and everyone was upset with each other. Of course, by the end of the day everything was fine. This morning, Curious George was playing quietly downstairs, and music was coming from upstairs, and I had my coffee in hand and getting things together for the day; peacefully. I don't like it when those Out-of-Whack days happen, but it did make me realize that I take my peaceful home for granted. Now, everyone is gone to work and to school. I have jazz playing softly and there is a gentle hum of the dryer while I am typing. I like the peaceful aspect a whole lot better!
The third thing that I know I take for granted is the kindness of people. Just the little things that they do. This morning we went by the Kolache shop. As I was walking up, a lady was walking back out to her car and she smiled and said good morning. I returned the smile and greeting. Then after I had made my purchase and was headed toward the door, a young man around 13 stopped and waited for me and held the door open for me as I was exiting. I know there is a lot wrong in our country and a lot of really bad people and junk that happens daily...but, there is a lot of good also! Just within the 5 minute span that it took me to get kolaches, I had 2 people use their kindness toward me. And zero people cursed at me, or slammed a door in front of my face, or stuck their tongue out at me......no one. I take the kindness of people for granted, but I will try very hard not to anymore. I want to look for the good in people and appreciate their efforts.
There are many other things I take for granted and I could go on and on. But these are the 3 things that occurred to me this morning. You have to start somewhere.....I'm starting with these, today, and I will enjoy this life I've been given!
The second thing I know I take for granted is a peaceful home. On most days you can find Curious George playing quietly on the T.V., and an Ipod playing not so quietly from upstairs. No one is yelling, things are organized, and we all work in sync together. Yesterday, however, we had a mini-meltdown in the van on the way home from church. Yes, that's right..we had just been to church hearing about how to love each other the way Jesus loved people, etc. etc. But things were just out of whack for us and by the time we pulled into the driveway, which was only about a 10 minute drive, there were tears and everyone was upset with each other. Of course, by the end of the day everything was fine. This morning, Curious George was playing quietly downstairs, and music was coming from upstairs, and I had my coffee in hand and getting things together for the day; peacefully. I don't like it when those Out-of-Whack days happen, but it did make me realize that I take my peaceful home for granted. Now, everyone is gone to work and to school. I have jazz playing softly and there is a gentle hum of the dryer while I am typing. I like the peaceful aspect a whole lot better!
The third thing that I know I take for granted is the kindness of people. Just the little things that they do. This morning we went by the Kolache shop. As I was walking up, a lady was walking back out to her car and she smiled and said good morning. I returned the smile and greeting. Then after I had made my purchase and was headed toward the door, a young man around 13 stopped and waited for me and held the door open for me as I was exiting. I know there is a lot wrong in our country and a lot of really bad people and junk that happens daily...but, there is a lot of good also! Just within the 5 minute span that it took me to get kolaches, I had 2 people use their kindness toward me. And zero people cursed at me, or slammed a door in front of my face, or stuck their tongue out at me......no one. I take the kindness of people for granted, but I will try very hard not to anymore. I want to look for the good in people and appreciate their efforts.
There are many other things I take for granted and I could go on and on. But these are the 3 things that occurred to me this morning. You have to start somewhere.....I'm starting with these, today, and I will enjoy this life I've been given!
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